So Close

I thought I was ready.

We went out tonight and had so much fun. Shelly and I tear up Lincoln every fucking weekend now and its great. I can be as drunk and stupid as I want to be and I don't think about anything but the next swig of alcohol.

But it's not right. I want it to be, but it's not fair to anyone else. You're making me wait. And I know I don't have to, because there is no point in waiting. But I do anyway. I don't think you know what you did. So I keep waiting.

I was close last weekend. Maybe I will be closer this weekend.

And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bear my soul in time
When I'm kneeling at your feet
"Goodbye" James Blunt

4 days til JT. Might as well be happy about something trivial.